I hadn’t noticed but since I get the constant feeling I am now inferior after surfing the net (which I didn’t get time to do before the holidays) .

Ok so many of you probably counter this by watching East Enders or Jeremy Kyle when you feel good about yourself again at least not so far removed from the superior beings you see plastered all over facebook and the websites that somehow get to the top of google you know where seemingly everyone is beautiful at least in 32 pixels x 32 pixels avatars. Just look at mine 🙂

What has happened to the internet ?

It has been the new revenue stream for most businesses that realise that post the 2008 slump in economy its not a slump its just the new way. Nobody said what goes down must come up did they ! This has spawned an ever increasing need to get to the top of social media and google.[rant alert] Google has started to return ONLY results that have been so contrived to be shared, clicked on and engaged with. And google have downright removed websites from their results that compete with their own products but thats a different libellous story. Not to mention that the top half of googles first page is now very much filled with paid for websites and snippets of the page you might well visit but no longer need to because the contact number is right there. I will admit that can be handy but consider that google is focusing on a single result and defocussing on the bigger set of results. As a business if you want to be seen here good luck doing anything but paying them money.

Thats just google – facebook gets worse as well, adverts suggested posts not to mention the lunch your friend needed to share or the check-in so you know they had been somewhere cool…multiply that by 200 (or 2000 if you do facebook for numbers) and you will constantly get the best your friends are doing all the time. Making you feel your life is boring. The reality is lost with the internet much the same way TV got. The internet is now looking more like TV everyday. The corps are killing it softly they always do.

The solution ?

Well the internet used to be a lot more fun. Perhaps we need to go read a book or take a walk and get a coffee in a coffee shop. I think the latter (resist the latte pun) is a great example of how we crave the environment they provide. People watch REAL PEOPLE not the fake online folk. You are really 100% sure not to get a penis photo sent to you which is more than can be said than on TINDER. And on that congratulations women WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN MEN I have no interest in seeing your vaginas, in case you didn’t get it yet I want something left to the imagination.

There are of course some really great websites online and in fact its like an alternate parallel internet. To find it you might have to venture onto page 2 -10 of google search or try the excellent bing.com or yahoo.com or OTHERS..thats right the results you want are not even 5 clicks away such little effort. So change your surfing patterns and accept a change in the way you DO the internet.
Get off facebook and live a little. Go to the pub get a few pints down you and have a real conversation. Realise that your phones are making you ill – really that holding your phone like that constantly is going to cripple you at 50.

If anyone is listening who controls the internet please dial it back a bit. Reduce the groomed lovely people from gracing the page from header to footer telling me how great their life is. If anyone else is listening share and post responsibly you would hate your friends having to hide you now wouldn’t you. And above all stop liking that contrived groomed shit. Writers hate having to do it but we need to appeal to what you say you like.