We took our 3 year old to Legoland Windsor at the weekend and I think we all left the day very tired and a bit jaded by the day. We arrived at around midday which was a bit later than we would have liked. We used Tesco vouchers via their clubcard website as this drastically reduces the ticket price 12:50 per person. Not only that but you must print your tickets and then self scan them – for the first and only time that day we went to the no queue straight in line ! A great must do thing.

What’s the problem with legoland ?

Mainly simply that the rides are all very short so you queue like 45 minutes on average for a ride or activity of about 5 minutes. So if you are there 5-6 hours you are likely to do just a few short lived rides that are dated. The learn to drive (under 5’s) helicopter ride, fairy tale brook boat ride – take a break for some food and visit the miniland (the best attraction where everything is made of lego) wander over to the atlantis wait for 15 minutes until you see the true length of the queue and bail as its getting too late and you have a long drive back. It isn’t made better when getting an ice cream takes half an hour. 3 – 40 year olds do not understand why we need to queue so much. Being short staffed is the main issue which is easy to solve if you really want to.

I was since it opened interested in visiting and people said it was great. But compare this to any modern alternative like peppa pig world by paultons and lego land is behind. They haven’t even kept it clean and this was by far and least the most surprising thing – the lego structures throughout the park are faded and dirty. I would have thought you could jet wash them to keep them a bit cleaner. That or simply rebuild – it’s clear that there is no new remodelling going on. Peppa pig world in contrast was clean and the rides felt a bit longer but the queues while not very small were quicker – to a point that we felt it acceptable. The biggest bonus for pepa pig world is that

Slightly grumbling having to breathe in the second hand smoke from the numerous smokers who ignore the no smoking requests that are not enforced. Sorry I am not about to pick a fight on my day off and out with my daughter close by. There is a designated area that some decent folk used.

A final annoyance is the 4 pounds car parking in a field 4 fields away from the park itself.

How can you enjoy the day more ? (please supply your tips as comments below)

Make sure you go on a day other than a bank holiday – it simply can’t cope with the lack of staff for busy periods like this.

Prepare your visit with a session of relaxing yoga beforehand

Make sure to shop at tescos and get the clubcard loyalty points – this is the only way to get in at a halfway sensible price.

If you can afford to spend even more then explore the QBot options which are supposed to let you jump the queue. However a complicated table of tarrifs and what you can jump isn’t helpful to my tired brain and it wasn’t a small fee.

One technique we saw was a couple that allowed their kids to queue alone knowing full well that they were not old enough to ride alone. Amazingly at the time the children made it to the front dad magically appeared and was amazed that the shorter than .9m old needed an adult. So in a well crafted and thought out way asked if they could go around to the front to ride with their kids as they didn’t want to queue again ! (you know you didn’t). It was clear to everyone what it was all about. I’m surprised there are not full blown punchups that occur regularly – perhaps they do. Certainly arguments are well incubated here. We don’t want you to not come just plan to not do it on a bank holiday.

This theme park is close enough to London for those with a yearly membership to come regularly and target your section like the duplo water activity. Then you might have a lot more fun. We tried hard and enjoyed momentary parts of the day especially when our daughter was trying to drive her electric car around the course and other moments where we found a quiet-ish corner of the park and reflected on a slice of the population of the U.K. Theme parks really do get you closer to contemporary human nature. Had we paid full price for tickets I would have been very angry alongside my slightly disappointed feeling. I was glad to have crossed it off the list and to have finally been to legoland so that next time some ‘everything is wondeful’ type at a dinner party raves about legoland I can have a dialogue with them. I would certainly say if you thought that was great you should try paultons park including the peppa pig world section.